I'm gonna go ahead and say this even though I think you've already made your choice.
Consider skipping this game and get-together.
Use this as an opportunity to break the cycle in an active way, by choosing a DIFFERENT action.
Find some alternative, non-drinking, fun and healthy thing to do instead with some other friends, someone you care about, or even just on your own.
Take action NOW, regarding the very thing that is haunting you, directly and with commitment.
To do otherwise is no different than all the hundreds of times I SWORE I was done drinking, wanted to BE done drinking, but still steered the vehicle right into the liquor store project and straight into a blackout over and over and over again.
I think you've made the choice to let the addiction take over on this one already. But - I don't feel like I'd be doing my part to encourage you in the right direction (at least some small part of you came here hoping for strength and encouragement to get off the merry go round) if I didn't say it directly.
