You don't want him HOME Butterfly, you want him sober & active in your life in the way you want a healthy partner to be.... but he keeps telling you that he is not willing to be that person. I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know how badly it hurts.
What are you doing FOR YOU during all of this? Are you doing more meetings or self-care or searching out new hobbies or groups to join? I hope you are reaching out instead of isolating away. ((((hugs))))