I understand. Drinking lost the appeal for me, too, the last few times. What was I doing?! What kind of choice was that to guzzle some wine on my own in bed and then just fall asleep. SO cool. Not. I think that's why this quote has stood out to me...
"I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years."