Sorry for the rant everyone.
Welcome Pinklinzangel, this class is great and such a good source of support.
Totally understand and relate rah555, I have tried and tried for most of my adult life to firstly to control my drinking and then when that failed I tried to stop entirely and I could stop but I couldn't stay stopped and that frightened me and made me realise I needed help, hoping this will be it this time around but I just have to take it one day at a time, - after tonight it'll be 2weeks sober- its been hard but we're all in it together here.