Originally Posted by jaynie04

The longer you are sober the less loud that voice is….the thought might come up but I don't linger on it. And they come up less and less.

You asked how to quiet that voice? I think of sobriety as a gift. I really don't mean to be corny. As an alcoholic I have what I believe to be a terminal condition. There is no cure but I have everything I need to arrest the process.

That glass of white on a bar? For me it is an illusion. Because I immediately begin to think "what about the next glass". We call it thinking the drink through. Yeah, most of us have had nights where we didn't end up passed out or blacked out. But EVERYTIME I was drinking at the end I was rolling the dice and leaving it up to chance. That is pure craziness.

There was a thread a few days ago about how freeing sobriety is. All the scheming, and covering up, lying, shame…..it is gone. I can toss my bags in the car for a weekend trip and not worry about bottles clanging. I don't wait for school pickup so I can come home and drink. I don't sit at dinner parties eyeing people's glasses to make sure I am pacing myself. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

It took time and distance to be able to look back and see how I was absolutely in a chokehold due to alcohol. I thought I couldn't live without it.

If i could have a night completely free to drink with no consequences I wouldn't do it. I don't miss feeling spaced out and fuzzy. One or two hours of feeling mellow is not worth feeling like crap for 18 hours the next day.

I also feel strongly that I drew a line in the sand and said NO MORE. I feel very protective and proud of my sobriety. The fact that I am able to continue means every night I go to bed sober I have accomplished a major feat. I feel lucky to be among others who care about sobriety too.

Sobriety is a small price to pay for the openness it has brought into my life. My world had telescoped down gradually. This past year I have felt like a new leaf unfurling. Keep reaching out…I think communicating your thoughts helps keep that voice at bay.