SC277, welcome, I hope you stick with us. Your experience is similar to many of our own.
I was drinking wine every evening (about 3 quarters of a bottle, I let my partner have a glass!) I knew it had become the "highlight" of each day, it was the one thing I looked forward too, and I felt deprived if I was denied it for one reason or another. I was actually quite miserable most of the time. Nothing else seemed to give me any purpose or satisfaction, my life was a list of things to get through before I could drink.
People around me drank as much if not more and didn't seem that bothered by it. My partner did not think I was an alcoholic, and just said "cut down".
My point is, that alcohol was pretending to make me happy (after a long day at work), while secretly it was stealing my time, my health, my money, my self respect and my ability to enjoy life, for so many years.
Now I've been free from the dreadful stuff for several months, and my life is so much richer, I feel a freedom and joy that I used to have as a child.
You have a lot to gain by kicking this habit in to touch now, I hope you stick around, you'll find lots of support, and your future self will be able to look back and cheer you on.
Hope you're sleeping well, I'm so glad you posted
