Day 4. Strugglin but OK.
I went to a meeting last night and coffee with AA sponsor. Today. Two meetings back to back and lunch with some AA girls. Although I was quiet and didn't say anything. Tonight, dog park with sponsor and doing some step work.
This was the last long weekend to spend out at my lake lot and I decided to stay in the city instead. For my own safety. But I'm kinda bummed that I'm missing out.
I can't stop thinking about that one high. The new one. I've never experienced anything like it before. It terrifies me and exhilarates me at the same time. I wish I never tried it. I crossed a line that I can't cross back over. And now it's all I can think about.
If I don't get this sober thing I know it will be the death of me. And fast. The craving and "more more more" was so much more powerful than anything I've ever experienced.
Praying I can make I through this night sober. God willing.