EJ43

My husband and I have had many many size able challenges the last few years. Too long and extensive to summarize. Our last year has been extremely difficult but we are making many changes and each of us is in individual therapy to overcome and work on our specific issues, alcohol being one of my "biggies". We are coming out a lot different then we were a year ago. After his session he approached me and suggested we go to counseling to reconnect to each other since so
Much has happened and we are living very differently. He said our marriage always came behind children and work and it's time for us to work on being a couple and finding what we had again. Even though my head knows this is true and I am more than willing to reconnect to this man who I adore beyond words, my soul is tired and beaten and slow to get up. He knows this too. I feel down for the count today. Why do some of us have so much pain and adversity to walk through and others only worry about matching their Lululemon outfits and booking court times? I don't get it. There are so many mountains in front of me, I don't know which one to climb first. In my heart I am also deathly afraid of what if we don't reconnect? What if I am now not enough or boring? Being sober still scares me and I don't know how to do it yet! Plus we are raising three busy boys, we have a gay son who just came out at 14 who we support and want to protect, are fighting against his depression due to PTSD, prescription abuse, alcoholism, oh and life, sports homework.......I am preparing to pull myself up mentally today, to get ready to jump back into the journey.....thanks