No judgments here, many of us have been exactly where you are finding yourself today.
We become addicted to them much like they are addicted to booze/drugs. A term you will hear alot on SR is codependency. Look it up and get acquainted with it.
Here’s my dollar store phycology for you:
These are all the things you stated regarding this guy.
He instantly became my best friend.
He listened to me.
He supported me.
Sounds like you were lacking a close connection with anyone and then he comes along and becomes your everything. The fact you can’t tell your family or friends indicates to me a lack of a true connection to yourself. It’s like you are living a fake life and now desperately you want that fake life to be so real but that’s not going to happen with this guy.
WE can’t force the round peg into the square hole. We can’t accept the un-acceptable thinking WE can turn them into who and what and how we want them to be. You are not the help he needs, never was and never will be.
This guy lied to you about his drinking from the beginning which I’m sure you discovered because he could no longer hide it. Then he started lying to you about everything. You called him out on his crap and like a big baby went into the silent mode.
Anyone that knows me would say that I normally would run from a situation like this but he had some sort of hold on………….He doesn’t have the hold on you YOU have the hold on you……….the truth will set you free. Getting honest with yourself then with your family and friends…………..