Thanks all! My RAH was supposed to go to our marriage counseling this am. He didn't want to go and made up an out. I was able to speak with the doc and she suggested for the next few days I work on acceptance of how the marriage is right now. Not expectations of him but just acceptance. I can try to do that for a couple days. I'm going to try to not think of how long I can accept the way things are and I'm not backing down on boundaries. I go to my individual counseling on Thursday.
Firesprite, every time i think of that I'm going to picture the pretty colors of the lights. Even if only one or two are lit to begin with (and maybe one is flashing) at least there is a glimmer of hope. I'll keep the lights plugged in while I work. I havent been doing so well in the dark lately.
Lillamy I was trampled by a couple of elephants but I survived. Maybe I will start with one nice baby penguin next time. Trying to trust the process, working on acceptance...
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