Friend-
The strong cannot help the weak until the weak begin to help themselves. The weak man must begin to emulate what he sees in the strong man. No one can change your condition but you.
And doing is to knowing as 19 is to 1.
If you feel miserable and angry, believe me, you
project misery and anger. It doesn't matter how smart you are or how many degrees you have. It's your attitude that I would imagine is holding you back.
There is no such thing as "failure." There are only results. Thus, I guarantee you that if you change your behavior, you'll get different results. Above all, remember, success
is intentional, not "accidental."
As for the consumption of alcohol, it certainly doesn't make things "better." Never has. Never will; but you already knew that.
Hope this helps