owington

Been six good weeks sober, life has improved so much. I look better, getting so much more done. My problem has been isolation. See my mates at work but after that its pretty much me and my dog. Ive been eating well, exercising, and generally been a happy person. Woke up today feeling lonely with nothing to do. Went out with the pooch, came home. Then the craving came, no problem, I've been through this countless times over the weeks, do something else, sort my house out, watch tv with a coffee, do some weights. I did none of these things. I went and bought beer. 3 cans in and I feel utterly depressed. Why have I done this, why have I failed? Lives not got better, its got instantly worse. Now it's gonna be day one again after my best few weeks over the last ten years. I've let nobody down, nobody knows but me. I do not feel better, I do not have a buzz, I feel utterly dissapointed with myself. Ive not after sympathy or messages saying it's ok, get back on it tomorrow. I'm saying to all those struggling, it really is not worth it. That's my story, hope the rest of you can be stronger than me.