Please help! im new!
Hi everyone. I am new to the board and have quite a story. Don't know who to talk to about it. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years. When I first met him I was 24 and he was 23. He was into the rave scene and like to do the exstacy drug. At first I didnt put my foot down but eventually it bothered me so much I asked him to choose between me and the drug. He said of course he would pick me and that was done. So as a few years progressed he really grew up, went to school and learned his trade, we got an apartment and he got a great job. About halfway through the 7 years, I learned that he was "once in a blue moon" using exstacy again. I was pretty furious and expressed my sadness about him doing it even only once. He told me he would stop again. Then a year later I caught him again because I found the drug in a little tin box in his drawer. At that time he told me that he had been using it for awhile because he was depressed but not about me. He said he had wanted to be further along in his career and was stressed so did it once in awhile to ease his pain. He cried and got down on his knees saying sorry and he would never do it again. Ok which leads me to now which is a year after that. Its important you know that we both work in the nightclub industry in a band. Together we drive to shows, play in our band and have a great time. We both drink but socially. I had noticed that HIS drinking however has gotten really excessive over the last 6 months and he is usually "wasted" by the end of the night. However, alot of our friends that come see the band and even myself drink and i never thought anything about it. 2 days ago I had his cell phone cause i lost mine. I noticed it was full and decided to go into it to clear out some of the messages. Several messages indicated drug use and exchanges being done on the phone. When approaching him, I just figured he lied again and had done exctasy again. Well he said he couldnt lie anymore and needed to tell me something. He came home from work announcing he was an alcoholic and has been using cocaine and crystal almost every weekend behind my back. He was crying really bad and said he admits now he is an addict and would do anything to save us. Keep in mind...our wedding is planned and paid for and happening in only 1 month from now!!!! We happened to have a show the next night and he drank water all night and stayed by my side almost the entire time telling me how much he loves me and cant lose me. Tonight HE decided to go to a AA meeting and brought me along. I was so proud of him cause this was his idea. He was excited when we left and said he feel ready to accept his addiction and get through it for us and most of all himself! My questions are...am i crazy to stay???? How do i get through this with all the anger i have and the betrayal he has done to me??? Please help...I love him and our wedding is practically tommorow!