smc92va,
We're so sorry you are going through this. We do understand.
As far as advice goes, it would be presumptuous to assume any
understanding of your life circumstances---but you did ask for coping
strategies so I'll do my best.
First things first. It is disrespectful to 'end everything' via text.
Disrespectful in the extreme----not to mention cowardly in the extreme.
(And you are LUCKY in the extreme....getting the heroin Chimera out of your
life!)
We sometimes 'paint' people that way we WISH them to be. I painted
the addict I knew as a heroic single Mom battling the odds.
Truth was, she was not that. Not at all. Truth is, if I were rating her
professionally and the passing grade was 300-----I doubt she'd rate 15 points
(and those a gift).
But if there's ONE thing I'd like to leave you with.....it is my heartfelt, true
experience that it isn't WHAT HAPPENS to us....it's how we deal with it.
You are turning 40 soon? I'm turning 54 soon. If we bring binary thinking to
the table...you got me beat.
But, truth is.......I'll keep my 54 years and you can keep your 40. I cannot die
when my children are young any more. I can't die and leave my family without security
any more.....those risky years from 25-50 are OVER......every year of life you live---
NONE of them can EVER be taken away from you by disastrous happenstance.
I can be hit by a bus tomorrow----so can you. But the difference is, I had 54 years
of living when it happened.....you had only 40.
So ((((KID!)))). Happy Birthday.......but watch your ass these next 14 years. I already got
them in the bag and YOU DON'T. It's not a con or a 'lemonade' argument.....it's how I
look at things. See every one of those birthdays for what they are----a gift.
We're sorry you are in pain. Pain, physical or emotional. It's why we're here on SR.
We have all have asked ourselves if we'd be better off bypassing....
Bypassing love, chance, flying, risk of any sort? No. That is an act of cowardice we
shall not yield to. Keep living, keep giving life a chance. Maybe, with a little luck.....you'll
have 54 birthdays
.................like I do..................
KID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!