Hey smc92va,
I'm not sure if I really have any advice for you, but just that I have an understanding of a lot of your feelings. I don't post much on here, but have a few times and feel free to read if it helps at all. Although my breakup was a year and a half ago and I still hurt so much some days...all I can say is with the ever cliche saying it does get better with time. It's a feeling of loss, worry, utter sadness, hopelessness, fright, and confusion-for me it was/is anyway. Things that used to make me so happy didn't anymore. You just have to keep pushing through and spending time with those you love. Sometimes I wish there was a magic eraser to erase my memories with him bc all of mine were good until the breakup-same deal with you-breakup by a text and total disappearance. I did hear from him eventually although he wasn't "the same". I was unaware of the addiction the whole time we were together though sooo the confusion in my brain made it a bit harder to accept everything. I tell myself that people go through breakup a lot...but for some reason this was crazy hard and a pain different than just a normal breakup. Try and find anything inside yourself that truly makes you happy and do whatever it is over and over again-and surround yourself with awesome people...and know that it really will get better and that the sad days don't last forever. Thinking of you.