I need some advice pls
So my daughters alcoholic father is having his scheduled visitation on his birthday weekend in a couple of weeks. That same day his nephew is having his first birthday party, and he really wants our daughter to attend. I don't have a problem with her attending the birthday party, but I know for a fact that her father is going to get blotto (his whole family are big drinkers, and family gatherings are quite messy).
She is only 4, and I have spent her entire life trying to shield her from the actions of her father (although I stopped short of going to court to get supervised visitation enforced, but that's a whole other story.)
My problem is that I have also been invited to the party, and I feel I have to go to supervise (how pathetic is that!). The problem is my anxiety flares up whenever I know he has been drinking (history of DV), and I really, REALLY don't want to have to go.
Should I just buck up and go? Or have faith that he will tone it down while she is there (although I know in my heart he won't). I don't want to punish her by saying she can't go to the party because her father is an a$$
I know it may seem like a really trivial thing to some, but it's really distressing me.
Any thoughts would be appreciated.