The fact that you are here tells me you are already getting stronger. You are looking for answers and you are a very intelligent lady. I can tell by the way you articulate your feelings and how you are seeking help. You are strong and do NOT forget that. You don't have to do this, and you WILL be able to get through the pain and dramatic events that are coming your way whether you decide to end it or stay in it. Whatever you decide to do for yourself, I can tell you that you are way ahead of where I was, and I trust that your sharp mind and your loving heart will lead you to the right thing to do. Nobody can decide for you what to do next except you, and I would never judge you for what you choose. Everybody has their own private and intricate situation to deal with. I trust completely that you are going to keep seeking the right path for yourself and for him, and the reason I can say that is because you already are seeking help here. You are very wise. Don't ever forget that. People that loathe themselves will try to bring you very low. Don't forget that either.
Praying for wisdom for you my dear friend in this world of complicated relationships. I am here for you any time you need through this difficult situation, and I'm sure there are many others that God will bring into your path to help you through this difficult decision making time.