Just know that you are not alone. I went through this. The more I started to try to stand up for myself, the more he tried to control me.
Yes, he is baiting you. He wants you to think that you are the one that is out of control, this way it is easier to control you.
I went through the food fights also, except I did cook, left the leftovers in the fridge if he wasn't home at the time that I prepared the meal for. He would come home and know what there was to eat. I pointed to the fridge. He said and you want me to cook that? I told him I was done cooking for the day 5 hours ago. Cook yourself, or microwave it, but I'm done.
Then he would start rolling the dinner plates from the kitchen to the den, where I was watching tv, saying, aren't you going to cook for me?
Just know you can tell us anything here, we understand.
((((((((((((more hugs))))))))))))