I'm listening. I was married for 27 years lived with him 25. I used to want those years back for awhile. Then I got to the point that I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up anymore. I was not suicidal. I just didn't want another day like the day I just previously lived through.
When mine went crazy, I used to go to the garage, sit in the car, sleep in the car.
I had to realize that I can't change him, I can't make things better. I needed to look at what I needed and wanted.