I do expect him to be an a-hole. He is an a-hole.
I know I'll win in court. My divorce decree spelled everything out. He is threatening me financially at the moment, and this may be at least a 6 month period of time that I lose a substantial income. I'm being told not to "poke the bear", well, the "bear poked me first".
It's like I'm all geared up now for the battle, but I'm being questioned as to if I am doing what I am doing for revenge. No, I'm not. I'm fighting for what the divorce decree stated I was entitled to. In a way, I don't think people are used to seeing me the way I am right now, I've changed. I don't want to be "nice". He is threatening my survival, and I will threaten him with court.
Must admit that I did communicate with him in the last week. We had both gotten rid of the attorneys because I refuse to pay mine until I need to take him to court. I thought he was trying to be cooperative, (my bad) then I found out he was trying to screw me.
This is my new me. I will do as much as I can without an attorney, till I need to take him back to court for a motion of contempt of court. Right now he is not in contempt of the divorce decree. Once he is, then he would have to pay my attorney fees. That's why I am poking that bear.
I'm hearing that I am being vindictive, and angry and trying to get back at him because I had expectation of him.
Yes, he did fool me about a week ago, that won't happen again. I have documentation going back 3 years as to how he tried to screw me on this pension division. It's a csrs pension. He wanted to give me a pro rata share of his "net" pension, instead of his "gross" pension.
It just seems like I am constantly being told now to "have no expectations", of him and his personality, I don't. Of what I am entitled to, I do.
I'm prepared to fight, and I will.
I just feel that people are not liking my anger or determination over this.
Perhaps if I was not threatening my ex with court, but that is where I will have to bring it if he defaults on the divorce agreement, or if I didn't tell the pension evaluators that I would report them to the BBB, if the pension was not divided correctly. I am coming across to many people now as a b!tch.
Maybe this all goes back to PTSD, "fight or flight". I don't know how to do things differently. Perhaps a normal person would, but I'm not normal. With me I either let things go, and let him have his way, or I fight to the death.
I think I just deviated from my initial post. Sorry bout that
Perhaps I am getting a little nuts with vindictiveness. I don't know. I just know that if I don't pursue all of this aggressively, it can affect me by about $9000 a year.
I want to be "me" again, but not until I secured my future financially.
I just wish I can separate this from my life. It seems that I have gone back to hypervigilant and paranoid. I can understand having these feelings towards my ex, I don't have them with friends, but they can tell that my mood isn't right. They can tell that I am in my "fight mode". It changes my personality or stance.