healthyagain

I just do not recognize the man I married. I have never seen something so mean and hurtful in my life. I am not crying, but am shaking.

I know we are doing the codependency dance, and I can cause the situation to escalate. I know that pouring his booze was a bad idea. This happened on Thursday. And as the punishment, he threw my food away. Ok, my fault. He also threw a personal object (will not say what it is, but it is intimate). I just discovered it an hour ago, and was absolutely shocked he did it. I kept looking for it thinking I lost it somewhere. He says he does not remember, and then that maybe he did it, but still does not remember. Can I say I deserved it? Can I say this was my fault?

I am really really upset again. My mind is racing, another sleepless night. It is madness, total madness. He tells me to leave, to take all the money and go, that he does not care. He says that he will talk to some lawyer tomorrow, that we will divorce, that it is a piece of cake. He tells me that I will keep the car (because we have a loan, and he apparently does not want to pay for it). He tells me that if I call the cops, that they will take me away! I can survive on my own, I am not afraid. But is this quacking? Is he serious?

We have poison in this house. We should part our ways, it is best for both of us, but can we be civilized about it?

Please, I need some sanity again.