Originally Posted by
PippiLngstockng 
Your responses are really thoughtful and helpful. Thank you.
I heard the story about the photos 30 minutes from when my teens first returned home. It was really bothering them.
I put it out of my mind. I was abused as a child and abused by xah. And every stupid professional has heard/read my stories of xah's behavior towards me and the children but no one has stopped him in his tracks. I began to lose morale. No one cares. My lawyer here said it would take more of a catastrophe than xah being violent with DS17 and terrifying DD7 before the judge would call for supervised visits.
Every time xah comes to town there is another huge drama.
I should have reacted immediately to my teens' disclosure but they made me promise not to act before they told me. So I was reluctant to make another scene, knowing that xah would react like a volcano after an earthquake. Which he has.
I have utter contempt for him.
Do I think he kept the photos in with the family shots on purpose? Probably. Because he has been 'absent-minded' about his parental responsibilities in a way that always works to desensitize them to abuse of various kinds. Am I sure? No. But he was negligent and he keeps the children constantly in precarious, frightening situations. And so I finally rubbed the sleepy film out of my eyes and did something.
Would it have been better not to send the children with him at all? I don't know. It would have been great if he had had a full on nervous breakdown so he could be properly evaluated and treated for his madness. But I didn't have the foresight or maybe the determination to prevent the visit entirely that morning.
I believe I am doing the best that I can under incredibly trying circumstances. And I am extremely prone to mistakes but I do learn eventually.
Question is: what will happen next? He has told his entire family, lawyers and my teens how I overreacted and caused him such grief that he wound up in the hospital. Poor him x 100.
i know someone who is fighting just to be able to see his kids because of the nasty ex who said there was inappropriate behavior between his kids and himself
4 years he is fighting to even have contact with them, he has gone to the police to get an investigation to clear his name but they will not act as it seems it would be to traumatic for the kids to under go an investigation
so all they have is an ex partner who made the allegations in court who of cause also wants to protect the kids
no evidence at all no charges brought nothing and its so out of order as people should be able to clear there names in such circumstances.
i notice you said in your post poor him X100
that certianly comes over to me like its a battle between you, the kids seemed to have enjoyed there time with there dad until all this kicked off
and if it was a dam accident then it really is a bit much
let the police do there job on this matter and let them make up there minds if it happened, if it was an accident or on purpose
its a kangeroo court in this thread and the more that gets said the more its starting to look a bit more like a battle going on and its the kids that are going to suffer
one day kids do grow up and are able to make there own minds up they dont believe any mind games parents try to play with the kids. trust me as i found out with 1 of my own kids who left my care at just 14 to go and live with his drunk mum who would let him smoke and drink
i could of got the police on her and forced my son to come back home as i would be protecting him right ??
wrong he would of hated me for the rest of his life as he loved his mum so i let it go
within 5 months he came back home hurt but more the wiser for it and he never went back to live with her again. so it all worked out in the end without me trying to force them apart
like i say with kids you have to remember one day they will get to be mini adults and they will vote with there feet if they feel they have been robbed of time with either parent,