We seem to have married and divorced similar narcissistic active alcoholics.
Here is my list:
Children - Create boundaries for their safety when with the alcoholic parent. Stick to, document, and enforce those boundaries. Pray for their safety, and give my fear or worry over to God.
AXH - Detach and repeat: Not my monkey (anymore). My focus is on my own recovery and not whether said monkey is eating bananas or scratching at fleas.