I was also in a car accident back in 2006 that ended with 2 of my friends passing away. I wasn't the driver and didn't drink much, but after I turned to extacy and alcohol to get over my depression. I still feel responsible for not driving that day when I should have. You would think that experience would make me despise alcohol, but I just jumped right in afterwards, wanting to escape the guilt. Thank You all for sharing your stories and advice with me.