Hi TDG.
My drinking allowed me to sidestep life's inevitably difficult decisions. After I got sober for a time, I learned that doing this only made things worse for me, and that I was never going to make any real progress unless I changed a lot of things, including my thinking, in radical ways.
I was then able to learn that the choices that I made didn't kill me, didn't reduce me to a drunken mess and, rather than increase my fear and anxiety, only made me stronger and more willing to make the hard choices next time.
I also learned to seek good counsel, and exhaust all potential avenues of help and support before making major changes in my life. I only wish the same for you.