He's everything I ever wanted in a partner. Except
then he's not EVERYTHING you want in a partner....you can't compartmentalize the parts you don't like. you either accept it ALL.....or you accept it's not enough. he has made his addiction a priority above his family....financial destruction is no small matter. he's drinking in "secret" which isn't a secret and you've now chosen to withhold any physical contact. you're co-habituating.....you don't trust him, you don't trust him with the care of the children.
what's left?