I can empathize. Quitting drinking has been the hardest thing I have ever done -- harder than quitting smoking, falling in love, divorcing, exercising, eating right -- all of it.
For me the answer was to delve into the step work that is AA's suggested program of recovery. I had to abandon myself to it. Trust that it might work for me -- it was working for other people. I did what they told me to do. I trusted they might know what to do. Didn't always like it, certainly didn't believe it would work for me, but I did it anyway.
Now the precursor for me was this: I didn't quit drinking because someone thought it was a good idea, or I was trying to salvage a job, get out of the house, back in the house, get or keep a relationship, save my good reputation, seek fame, stay out of jail, or on a bet.
I was beat down by booze. I was desperate and would do anything not to have to do another day the way I was living. And I think you have to be "there."
Please note I may have been a high bottom drunk because I wasn't living on the streets, was still in school, had a part-time job, a driver license. But I knew it was merely a matter of time before those things - rights and privileges - were going to be revoked. Maybe permanently. Freedom was something I started to think was going to get taken away from me. I was a slave to alcohol, and I had no control over how much or what was going to happen. For the first time in my life I was truly scared.
Maybe you're not "there" yet. That's okay. See if you can control your drinking. That was what was suggested to me. Go to bars, wherever you drink and drink. See if you can stop abruptly and carry on with other life tasks. Then you can decide if you have a problem and what you want to do about it.
Best wishes.