Kubis8

Hi guys.... Just found this place today and seems a great place with loads of info...
Basically I'm a 37 yr old guy living in UK..
Been drinking excessively for around 14 months now...
Basically at least half a bottle of vodka EVERY night... Some nights it's more and at the weekend it's definitely more....
Don't drink in the morning or get shakes but usually led in bed until 11 or 12 most days and have to bring myself back to reality with energy drinks and coffee just to function..... Every day I tell myself I'm sick of this existence and that tonight I won't drink but by early evening I'm refreshed or had a busy day at work and before I know it I've justified it in my head or say I'll stop tomorrow instead. I'm one of the most positive people you could meet generally and the internal dialogue of self motivation I give myself everyday would get anybody fired up to make a change but by the end of every day it's all gone down the pan and I'm sat up alone drunk again.....
This is driving me mental.....!!