Stung

I'm gonna stop you right there and call BS. Male attention is your drug of choice. Mine is shopping, that's why this resonates with me because I can justify my shopping habit like you would NOT believe. You are trying really hard to justify what you're doing.

Here's the thing. On the scale of Good Men to Bad Men, you're choosing the equivalent of dog food (bad men) when you could probably have a fillet (a good, honest, faithful, kind, non-addict man). We're all telling you how gross it is that you're eating dog food but you're trying to convince us of how good it tastes and smells because you just haven't had meat in a while. It's comfortable dysfunction. No, Pippi, you're eating dog food. You're basically finding carbon copies of your STBXAH (dog food) and creating scenarios where you have a POV with much more control. (Control is another one of my own top issues which is again, why I think your stuff resonates with me so much.) Why do you crave control? Why do you crave male attention?

As for the money stuff, I'm also similarly dependent. There are always options but they usually come with a huge dose of humility and acceptance, both easier said than done. You are capable of moving and you are capable of ending this crap with your ex whenever you've had enough. You do not need him or as much money as you think you do or any of your stuff. You're getting caught up on details because you're still trying to CONTROL things in a situation that has been out of control for a long, long time. If you have to move based on the divorce agreement, then you have to move but thank God, at least you'll be divorced and you can move on! Sometimes we fight the inevitable until it kicks us in the face. Please don't allow yourself to get kicked in the face.