Hi Matt and welcome. I can really relate to your post as I too am an expat. I am an American living in Italy. I've been here for almost 10 years but I still deal with so many conflicting emotions about being so far from what I know and grew up with. I have built a life here. I have 2 children with an Italian man, we are now separated but have a really good co-parenting relationship. I have been dating another Italian man for almost 3 years now and he is amazing and supportive. I don't however have any friends. Not one. I know a lot of people and have a social life, but no real, true friends and I ache for that. Being lonely was also a major trigger for me to drink. Or boredom. If I was not with my boyfriend and the kids were with their father I just drank out of sheer boredom. I also still have issues with the language. I would say I am very advanced, but not yet fluent. I feel humiliated when people ask me how long I've been here and I have to tell them. I feel like my Italian should be flawless at this point, but I am just not a language person. My embarassment over this led me to over drink in many social situations, just to cover my nerves and the words seemed to flow easier when I was drinking. But like you my drinking had become majorly problematic. I was averaging at least 2 bottles of wine a day. I was nearly always drunk, day, night, work, no work. It was time to stop. I am now at the end of day 6 and really happy with my decision. I do know that I have a tough battle ahead of me though and cannot relax.
I have found coming on here very helpful. I have found people who understand me and just reading the stories of others has been of great comfort and help to me.
I am so pleased for you that you have found a supportive AA environment there. I actually sought out help at a rehab/detox center here about a year ago and also looked into local AA meetings. I was COMPLETELY discouraged from doing this by they people close to me here. According to them (Italians) there is a huge stigma with seeking help and labeling yourself- or being labeled as- an alcoholic here in Italy. they warned me that it could have major repercussions in a number of area in my life including potential work, my relationship with my ex and my rights as a mother as well as if other parents of my children's schoolmates saw me going into these help centers they would shun me and my children and not allow their children to be friends with mine. I don't know if this is an exaggeration or the truth but it scared me from seeking face to face help here even though I desperately wanted and needed it. Finally, 6 days ago I found this forum and it has been the support I was looking for. I am also seeing a psychologist here and although she doesn't speak any English she has a manner of understanding and communicating with me that feels right and works for me. Seeing a psychologist is delicate and difficult in your native tongue, I found it very difficult in a foreign language but with her it works.
My advice to you would be this. Keep going to the meetings. They are a support you need and at the same time you are getting out of the house and doing something "social" with other people. Stay in touch with your family as much as you can and need to. However, that said, you need to make some sort of life there. Find a cafe near you and make it your local spot. Get to know the people who work there. Make small talk. Make it feel like a home spot for you. Go to see the local culture. Learn some of the local language and practice using it even when you feel like a total idiot mispronouncing the words and screwing up the grammar. Participate in local festivals and events. This is your home now, even if temporary.
Whatever you do, don't drink. You can find thousands upon thousands of stores here of people just like you and me who have quit- fooled themselves into thinking "ah, just tonight, it's a special occasion; it would be rude to refuse as I am a guest; ive been so good and deserve a reward; if I quit for x amount of time then I might not have a problem after all, let me just try........." No. No no and no. If you are an alcoholic, you cannot drink again. Period. I have had many stops and starts and many times I mourned this loss. I was sad, mad, frustrated that I could not drink like a normal person. Not this time, I am so thankful to have just effing given up. Finally. I can stop fighting this useless battle and focus my energy on fighting towards sobriety, good health and peace in my heart and mind. Reach out anytime you need, either here or in private. I've got plenty of expat tricks up my sleeve and can most likely relate to any emotions you might be facing due to your circumstances.