New to the boards
Hi I'm Maggie
I'm 34 years old married to a wonderful loving husband and have two amazing children a son 11years old and a daughter 8 years old.
I was always a binge drinker out and about over the weekends but since having my daughter, I got into the habit of drinking in the house and has the years have passed I would find myself drinking every night. Over the last 12 I have tried to stop which is when realised I have become dependent on alcohol, it has been tough to understand because everyone around me drinks in very much the same way, but I doubt it affects them as much as it affects me.
The more I became aware and tried to make changes the harder it got. I have mentioned my concerns to my husband and he agrees we do need to change our ways. He can drink a few cans and be done, whereas me I have to keep going until it's all gone and I say or do something stupid.
Living with the thoughts day in and day out is really taking it's toll on my mental state and my head feels like it wants to explode.
I have poured no end of bottles down the sink and the best I have managed was nearly 3 weeks with out a drink. I seen it made a huge difference, but then I go and spoil it and think it's ok I'll just have a few tonight, which then leads to the following night and the night after.
Friday was my last drink and my verbal attack on my son Saturday morning has told me I need some help to try and quit, however I'm really struggling and I can't imagine my life never drinking again.
I have apologised to my son and told him how very special he is to me, he seemed confused when I was speaking to him, or maybe uncomfortable.
Today I plan to stick around as much as I can and hope I make it to bed with out a drink.