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Old 08-04-2014, 05:08 AM
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New to the boards

Hi I'm Maggie

I'm 34 years old married to a wonderful loving husband and have two amazing children a son 11years old and a daughter 8 years old.

I was always a binge drinker out and about over the weekends but since having my daughter, I got into the habit of drinking in the house and has the years have passed I would find myself drinking every night. Over the last 12 I have tried to stop which is when realised I have become dependent on alcohol, it has been tough to understand because everyone around me drinks in very much the same way, but I doubt it affects them as much as it affects me.

The more I became aware and tried to make changes the harder it got. I have mentioned my concerns to my husband and he agrees we do need to change our ways. He can drink a few cans and be done, whereas me I have to keep going until it's all gone and I say or do something stupid.

Living with the thoughts day in and day out is really taking it's toll on my mental state and my head feels like it wants to explode.

I have poured no end of bottles down the sink and the best I have managed was nearly 3 weeks with out a drink. I seen it made a huge difference, but then I go and spoil it and think it's ok I'll just have a few tonight, which then leads to the following night and the night after.

Friday was my last drink and my verbal attack on my son Saturday morning has told me I need some help to try and quit, however I'm really struggling and I can't imagine my life never drinking again.

I have apologised to my son and told him how very special he is to me, he seemed confused when I was speaking to him, or maybe uncomfortable.

Today I plan to stick around as much as I can and hope I make it to bed with out a drink.
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:17 AM
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Just imagine not drinking for today.

You can do this!
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:17 AM
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pray for strength
 
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Welcome to the forum MaggieLou

There is a lot of support and guidance here for you which helps immeasurably in sorting through the beast of alcohol. For me, life became infinitely easier when I recognized the issue that drinking had become and let it go for good.

Congrats on being here. It really is a great place to be.

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Old 08-04-2014, 05:20 AM
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You got this! Post as much as you need to to stave off picking up that drink!
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:24 AM
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Hi and welcome. Most people who have difficulty stop drinking are different from drinkers who can have a couple and stop for periods of time and not think much about it. We alcoholics seem to make the next drink our focus.
Reading posts on this forum will help with the part of you that “I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
AA has also helped millions towards a sober life style including a healthier mental and emotional return.

BE WELL
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:28 AM
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Yay! I'm glad you are here with us. This is a great place to hang out. There is wisdom, encouragement and even some fun. Look around and post. It is a huge help.

We are heading out camping for a few days so I won't be around, but know I'll be holding you up in prayer, as I do with all of us. But I'll be back on Friday.

You can do this and it is sooooo worth it. The thoughts in your head will quiet down over time. Just keep your focus on what you want.
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:32 AM
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Morning! When that lil' debil on your shoulder starts up about a drink just calmly say," I don't drink". Repeat as necessary. Come back here if you need support.
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:48 AM
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Someone on here used the analogy of carrying a fly swatter with us. Anytime that little "debil" starts to talk, you SWAT it good and hard. Hee Hee. I like that visual. "Die, you little debil. DIE!" Bwahahaha
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Old 08-04-2014, 06:21 AM
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Welcome to the Forum!! You can do this!!
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Old 08-04-2014, 06:42 AM
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I completely understand where you are Maggielou. Similar drinking pattern here. Wine is my preferred drink. You will find great support here. Weclome!
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Old 08-04-2014, 06:55 AM
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One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.
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Old 08-04-2014, 07:05 AM
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Welcome to SR, tons of great support and understanding here. This site and the SR family have helped me immensely.

When I started reading all of the posts, I found my story was not unique. I could relate to what others were feeling, coping with and trying to overcome.

Read as much as you can and post as often as you need to help make it through your days sober. One day at a time...

You can do this. Welcome
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Old 08-04-2014, 07:11 AM
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Welcome, MaggieLou!
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Old 08-04-2014, 07:35 AM
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Hi Maggie, I think many of us can relate to you here. I also went through a slow progression with my drinking. In my college days and early 20's, I was your typical weekend binge drinker. Everyone I knew was and I thought it was completely normal.

However, I started to notice that when I was drinking with friends, I was drinking more and much quicker. I would be starting on my 4th drink by the time they started their 2nd and by the end of the night I was usually the only one absolutely wasted.

I kinda relished in the party animal reputation at that age, but things began to change. People in my social circle began to chill out a bit and settle down to focus on marriage/careers. I then began drinking at home after work everyday thinking it was normal cuz my parents did it for years.

Next thing I knew, I was drinking a fifth a vodka every day and going through withdrawal each morning at work. It was only after a DUI that other people close me suggested I had a problem. At that point I finally accepted to myself I had a problem.

I drank another 5 years before I did anything about my addiction unfortunately and I pretty much lost everything in life. I hope you address your drinking issues now while you still have things to save.
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