welcome
sadly for me and my ex wife we ended up losing our 2 younest kids to social services as our drinking had progressed to a point where we were drinking daily, kids not going to school as we would be in bed sleeping it off fights between me and her happening more often the police getting called out, etc, it was a total mad house in the end
you can bet i felt so sorry for myself when i my kids got taken away, i was so sorry for myself i needed a drink
i was a danger to my kids trying to take them back away from the social services in my drunken attempts at kidnapping them
i wanted my kids back and my nightmare world to stop but i just couldnt get off the drink
not until i finally lost it all and had nothing left in the world other than a flat that was given to me by a hostel
i then went to aa and the rest is history
i found a way to live without the need for a drink, in time i was to get my kids back and be a single parent to my kids
i got a job, got some money coming in again, got a car, you name it i got it all back
apart from the ex wife
she sadly is still out there drinking and the kids dont have anything to do with her anymore they have simply given up
i hope you can find a way out of the mess your in before it gets worse, as it will only get worse never better.
aa helped me and still does today thats 10 years ago since my last drink and i have been through so much the last few years being sober but i still never wanted a drink thanks to the love and help i got in aa and still get today
so it might be an option you might think about ?