I really wish i didn't have to write a post about relapse. It happened 2 weekends ago after 4 great months being sober, by far the longest I've ever managed. I drank heavily for 1 evening. Haven't drank since but my confidence and that strong feeling of hope has taken a huge hit.
So what happened? I've been trying to figure it out since. Initially I had a long list of things that 'led' me to drink again....my ex wife, pressure at work, the stress of being constantly short of money etc etc. I even blamed the weather for being too good! In the end the sad fact is I drank because I wanted to drink. Dammit
Attended a lot of meetings since and things are slowly starting to settle. Was given a really tough time at the aftercare group last week - one of the therapists was particularly frank, he told me that I am in total free fall and guaranteed to drink again unless I start working the programme much harder than I had been. It was embarrassing and painful to listen to but he is 100% right.
I REALLY don’t want to go back to how things were and want to regain some of that confidence I had before the relapse - frightened that if it happened once it could happen again.
I would love to hear from anyone who has come through relapse and managed to get back on track
