Anvil - I agree.
My rationalization is that "most" programs are 90 days and that he stayed longer than that period of time. I knew all along that this was a possibility. He had also promised to go to this program if he relapsed.
I'm the one hoping this is a lapse and he can pick himself up. It's nice not having to struggle so hard financially and having someone to help with the kids and pick up half the house work. I work full time plus.
I asked him what I should do if he used again. He said I expect you to do the right thing and kick my ass out. That's what I will do. One more time, he's done. I have already talked to his Dad about what is going on (not keeping secrets) and have made him aware of what's going on. Not that anyone can do anything about a grown mans decisions to use drugs or not.. but he will not be staying with me.
I will not be drug testing, checking or obsessing either. If he doesn't look right, if things don't feel right... or anything that makes me suspicious he will be out. He is not on my lease and he has separate medical insurance. I have been smart about my choices.
Thanks for keeping reality in check. He's been "sick" the last 2 days at work... and probably for the next couple of days... but I don't feel bad for him at all. So.. time will tell. If he looks high - he is.. and off he goes.