I used to tell my RAH that I was damned if I did, and damned if I don't. Here's an example:
I was away for 5 days and the pool had a yellow algae starting so I asked AH to keep an eye on the pool and to scrub the pool walls every day and to shock the pool if he saw the algae getting worse.
Came home, the pool was green and had yellow algae all over the north facing walls. Anyway, I said nothing. I unpacked and did my own thing and a few hours later I went out and took care of the pool. I wasn't angry, I kind of expected this and I knew it was fixable, despite how awful it looked. I came inside after scrubbing the walls, throwing in shock, and cleaning the skimmers. AH says to our son, "Oh boy! Now, I'm in trouble. She's pissed!" Again, I said nothing.
I pointed out to AH how this felt and how he threw me under the bus to our son, when I was just trying to do what needed to be done. I pointed it out this way: If I had said, "Hey, I asked you to take care of this and you didn't, so do I have to do it now? Then, I am treating you like a child so I'm damned for saying something, right?" "But, now you've proven that I'm damned if I don't say anything at all, too." "Which of those options is a win win for us?"
He had no response. It's stuff like that among other things that really ticks me off. As someone else has mentioned already: how can they know just what buttons to push and do it so well, yet be so sick? LOL, I'm just thankful that I don't need the answer to that question anymore. It is what it is with them, I expect nothing and therefore, it's easier to be at peace.