Hello and welcome.
I drank daily for 23 years. The last ten were a nightmare of morning till I passed out.
You've been through a lot and I found there's nothing alcohol will make better.
I tried and failed many, many times. It took going to AA for me. I still drank, but it was never the same. I felt guilty when I drank. But it was back to my old ways in short order.
It took a scary withdrawal and the mornings filled with fear, anxiety and regret to make me quit.
Many of us here are recovering in different ways, so I hope you stick around and read and post. You'll find lots of support.
You're young, I wish I had seen my problem at your age. Best to you.