Hello. Congrats to you and your son on your sobriety.
I was married to a man who is very much like your son. Every little thing that would happen sits him off into a whoa is me type attitude and he would get depressed and down for very small things (sort of like the car window being off it's hinges). I know money trouble can really stress a person out, but if you continue to bail him out of his money trouble you are not helping him at all. Gently let him know you don't have the extra funds to do so anymore.
Your son is inconsiderate and self absorbed. He likely has a personality disorder. There is not much you can do about that, only him. I second that it may be time to do some detatching from him. Nothing you did was anything but kind and considerate, in my opinion you should be upset with him for how he acted. He should be the one saying I'm sorry.
I am glad you are here. Don't let yourself be mentally or financially manipulated any longer. You are not doing your son or yourself any favors by allowing that to happen.
Good luck to you and God Bless. Stick around, read the stickies. You are not alone.