Funny to come across this topic now. I was thinking I would spend my weekend writing out my one-month victory speech
but instead found myself majorly challenged by raging emotions. My husband and I had a big fight which went down the beaten path. Fights like these have always been my trigger to drink in the past. During and after those fights I feel anger (RAGE, actually), frustration, despair... This time I felt all of them rolling through me uncontrollably again, only a few things were different: for split seconds I was able to sort of observe it from the side and tell myself "despair in a domestic tiff is a bit of an exaggerated emotion, no?" I was also able to tell myself "this too shall pass". I went through the motions of storming to the store, but got soda instead, and chugged down two bottles in two minutes.
Previously, alcohol would only fuel the feelings of entrapment and despair. This time, I was more clear-headed but it's still very hard to get control of emotions.
My irritability was at an all-time high and I too was a major biotch for most of the weekend. It didn't help that I didn't have the time or opportunity to retreat and take care of myself. So, anyway, right there with 'ya...