Originally Posted by
cherra 
I know exactly how you feel. I have been separated from my AH for 29 days today. Until yesterday, I have answered every call, every text, every note left on the counter (He's in our house but I go there when he's at work). Yesterday I let him leave a message. Is it bad that I listened to the message? Why is it that some days I am absolutely positive that I am doing the right thing and other days (like today) that I question everything? I read back through my journals, my post on SR, the awful text messages he sends, but I still find myself wondering if I'm wrong. The only thing really keeping me away is our daughter. If it weren't for the trauma he's already put her through I would probably go back. Just being honest here. I admire your week!
Thank you for being honest cherra. I was the same way. I would carry my phone around with me all the time just in case he called. See, I was supposed to answer his calls, thats what cell phones are for, you take them with you, but he wouldn't answer my phone call for weeks, and we were married!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I erased any nice messages he left for me, any nice text he left for me. (actually I erased none at all. There weren't any nice messages or text) . If I felt I needed to call him I would listen to those before dialing, and know it was just going to be one of those conversations that lead to nowhere, but just spin your head around like in the movie the Exorcist.
I also had my own private tape recordings that I could listen to at anytime I felt like I wanted to pick up the phone. They just had me vomiting in the bathroom and I couldn't use the phone then.