Hi and welcome. I also found it such an effort and waste of time in total to consume the amount of alcohol I did. I needed to get honest with myself about my drinking then accept that it will get worse and that I could not drink in safety. I was told denial is not a river in Egypt and mine needed to be addressed because I did a lot of comparing to others.
When certain things became painful enough, I don’t suffer well, I began working on my sobriety and it is work, not a phase I was going through as my ism is life long whether I like it or not.
It all starts with not picking up the first drink so we don’t have to get sober AGAIN, if we’re blessed with the opportunity.
BE WELL