SoberJuly, this is my first day being sober. I was referring to a few years ago with my ex. I obviously have a long way to go. And I have been verbally abusive to him while loaded, then he gets verbally abusive the day after. I truly believe he wants me sober....if I don't get sober, we are done. And yes, he can be bossy and a bit controlling, and I agree, much of this I don't really want to hear but Im listening and being as open minded as I can. He was always a bit controlling and possessive, but the name calling and insults only occur after I have disappointed and hurt him by being a raging drunk. Hope this clarifies....