This may or may not be relevant to you, Windancer, just one of my stories about a relationship and sobriety. I was in a long-term relationship (~ 3 years) when I decided to get sober for good this January. It was a good one, or at least that's what we both thought and felt for all those years. Not even my drinking affected the peace in it, and not even when, after living together for a while, I decided to move elsewhere on my own - of course primarily to be able to indulge in drinking more without interference. Not that she wanted to interfere much. She has that "premature Buddha" attitude - accepts everything unconditionally, always finds the silver lining in everything, is content, stable - a true peacemaker. The max we sometimes "fought" about was some work-related opinions and disagreements (we work together, still). More like debates.
It's a long story... what I want to say here is that the relationship we both qualified as "wonderful" even at the end of last year or during the first couple months of my sobering up, did not survive the dynamic of my recovery process. All the realizations, changes, shifts in preferences - it was all me, but of course these affected her and our connection as we had great communication and very sincere interactions with each-other. Lots and lots and lots of deep discussions, trying new experiences together, analyzing everything, many desperately heartfelt moments as it was indeed quite difficult to see everything we had for ~3 years drifting apart. But no way to deny it.
So finally we've decided to separate as far as our relationship goes. Still work together and will do so for a long time, I believe. Still have great conversations. So I guess this is one of the stories when people become friends after the closure of an intimate relationship. I still like her very much and I think it's mutual. It's just that things have changed...
The reason why I am telling you this here is because when I first decided to get sober in January, I made a very firm and strict decision that my sobriety was center stage and would be for a good while, no matter what, no matter how it would affect other things. Of course it's best to keep any possible harm to minimum on all grounds. In restrospect (not much time, just a bit less than 6 months), I feel that I'd made the best decision not only for myself but also for my ex-gf.
Keep it up and don't get scared by all the changes and dynamic - it's inevitable!