It's about finding that fine line between doing what's reasonable under the circumstances, to support our children's steps towards recovery, and trying to do the work for them or to "make" them want to change. The balance seems to shift from day to day. It's like - if your child was completely committed to going to a rehab, and he or she asked for a ride for the distance of 50 miles, you'd do it, right? That's not enabling? But, putting up with, much less believing, the eternal wavering and quacking about do I want to get clean, am I using, isn't it really your problem, just need a couple of bucks to help me out this one time, this isn't the right therapist/program/situation for me... that IS enabling.
It certainly is exhausting to work through it every day.
Jane