I have been on a two month roller coaster with my AD and her recovery. Last Saturday when I heard her ABF was in for Monday, I told her to have him call me at 7 on Monday morning if he wanted a ride. He called at 7 pm on Sunday to make sure I could take him. I think you are fine with calling him or asking him to call you, but if he doesn't...not your problem. And if you do and he leaves early from the program, your response was perfect. I have learned a few times now that putting all of the responsibility on them is the key, and then we just have to work to let go an live our lives. I think I finally learned another lesson in detachment this week, and now my AD is at one of the best rehabs...it amazes me, really, how much letting go really works on them. Take care. I feel your exhaustion!