I am glad you have hope. Hope is a positive quality. I have observed, though, that you often express great bitterness at not having joy. That is what I interpreted as "pining." Often I have to just tell myself to shut up when I begin to get negative. I circumvent further negativity by refusing to indulge the initial urge--otherwise I feel ten times worse.
I don't mean to impose my methods on you--I don't want you to go through life feeling even worse than you have to.
