FT

I never "meant it" before, is what it meant. Meaning, I never "took a stand" against my drinking before. I remember lots of "trying" but never a declaration of intent.

I tend to say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I have always been stubborn and will set out to prove someone wrong if they say something about me that is untrue. My husband and I always demonstrated "collective Beast" behavior, and his Beast did not like it one bit when I quit. But it mattered in the least what his Beast wanted, once I had made up my mind.

So perhaps, ".... and I will never change my mind" is added reinforcement, but it is a promise I made/make to myself and no one else.