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Old 07-15-2014, 06:00 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
jdooner
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Well, I am guilty of using the Audrey Kishline story in dramatic fashion to illustrate how MM is rooted in failure. However, like you, I have never given it a fair shake. I have perused the website but my knowledge is cursory at best.

I suppose its my own insecurities that lead me to this conclusion. What am I scared of? I guess deep down I know how bad things truely got for me and to reinforce my own program I am guilty of projecting my fears on others, particularly around moderation. I was asked by somoene why I don't go back out and I could feel all my muscles tense up. I just don't think I would come back, as my last try at sobriety was in '96. Also, I never liked the taste of alcohol it was always the high.

For me I escalated quickly from the booze into the drugs and all boundaries were broken down. I know I would migrate to a crack pipe if I returned to the drink and I know what that will mean for me.

There is a part of my that wants to save others from experiencing the same pain that I have...I know logically and rationally this is not only absurd and futile but also dangerous as I can push someone away that I might have otherwise been able to help by sharing my experience.

I am realizing this is more me and part of my journey of getting well too.
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