Originally Posted by
Katie88 
Haennie you are super smart. Are you a psychologist? I have a MA in Counseling Psychology and can usually identify my own kind
LOL, not by formal education/degree, maybe by nature
Psychology has been one of my number one interests since my teens and I took lots of classes for fun, but my official training was in different areas of biology and some math/statistics. In the past several years I've been doing research in psychiatry and lots of experimental psychology (studying behavior).
OK I totally understand how it works not wanting/being able to let go of someone you love. Probably all of us (adult humans) have been there at some point. I also get the complicated nature of unconventional sexual orientations - I am bi myself and my preference is dynamic, it has been shifting in time. I have always been 100% comfortable with all of this, but there is dynamic, depending on many factors. Maybe your friend is like that, too. In my experience, many (most) people with flexible gender interests tend to work this way. Interesting world.
Is your romantic interest in this person one-way, or she's also interested in you similarly, or was at some point, it's just that right now more focused on the boyfriend? Gosh, we can confuse the hell out of people, I know that
If it's one way, if I were you, I would try to make every effort to let it go because otherwise it's just continued suffering. If it's just a current state... well, then what type of relationship do you want? Open and flexible, exploring - or stable 1:1, settled? If you can answer this, I think the rest is easier to figure out. Or is it that primarily you want this person and the conditions are secondary? That sort of thing can be tricky and taxing emotionally... I had quite a few of these in my life, very interested in a specific someone and willing to go very far with compromises and tolerance. Can be both a good thing and a bad thing.
Other that these, I agree with the others above me, that even if you are willing to compromise and "wait" for this friend of yours, maybe instead of dating others, explore other interests? Also, I would always suggest that you follow your heart and live your life and not the social norms and what your friends in your age group do or perhaps even expect you to do. Get to know yourself, set your own programming, explore life - these would be some things that I would recommend to an intelligent young person.
Btw, it's a good thing that you have deep feelings and allow yourself to experience them and be vulnerable. Better than the alternative. Just try not to get too stuck in the past and then all will be good