Katie, I've commented on your thread before, just another thought. Do you think that this strong non-specific (i.e. not targeted to a specific person you know) craving for a romantic relationship is actually a phenomenon that's masking something else in your life? That somehow it's incomplete, or you feel incomplete as a person, and you want to be in a relationship so much because you expect that it will fill a space or substitute something else? Maybe you could figure out what it is, truly?
I don't know... maybe I am totally wrong... but from everything I've seen in my life, it appears to me when people crave a partner this non-specific way and feel so lonely due to this, there is usually something else deep down in the background...
"I hope that sobriety will give me an opportunity to look at the mistakes of my past"
In my view, this^ would be a mistake probably, to dwell on mistakes from your past. Why not try to use this new found state of being (sobriety) for working on yourself and creating a life where you might not feel so lonely when alone occasionally? Immersing yourself in the past and in the longing will only take you so far, if anywhere at all.
Maybe you could really just make new friends in the time being, get to know them... and who knows maybe one will turn into something more romantic with time. If you jump into the scene with the set idea that you are looking for a romantic partner before getting to know them, there is a higher probability it'll lead you to disappointment because you have played the tape through in your imagination ahead of time. Often it's also much more exciting to explore something or someone without
a priori expections as to where it/you might want to go, keep an open end, and let the experience guide it?
